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In September 2011, Michael ended a 26-year marriage, the last 11 years of which were sexless. But then, less than a year later, he met a woman he fell in love with, and she with him.

And he discovered that what had seemed like a curse was actually a gift.

I’m very involved with the Mankind Project at the national level. Let’s face it, the whole issue of intimacy in a relationship and connection and commitment is a big one for men of all ages. No one ever teaches us what it really means to be with the opposite sex.

So they shut down or they leave the relationship and in some case they switch teams and end up finding the intimacy they’re looking for in a relationship with a woman.

MS: That’s a very interesting question about how flexible women are in terms of what you described as “switching teams,” but I want to ask you something in particular before we get into the real meat of your stuff here.

As if dating isn’t hard enough already, Brashier would obsess about how and when to tell a man — right away as a means of being up-front, or after he’d gotten to know her better and might be less apt to turn away? If you find someone you like, you never have to ‘fess up; they already know.

“It takes it completely out of the equation,” she says.