Dating a guy with emotional baggage
If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have sent your question to me.
Again, my perception is that deep down inside, you want a second chance at love with this guy.
This means having space in your heart and head for new experiences to come in and for intimacy to develop.
So let me start off by saying that your question doesn’t strikes me like a woman asking about a male friend. I can’t imagine that you try to force your other friends to talk about stuff they don’t want to talk about.It strikes me as a woman who wants a second shot at romance and wants a guarantee that her heart won’t get broken in the process. Moreover, if it really is a friendship, you’re basically saying that you are friends, he wants a clean slate and you want to talk about emotions and baggage.For the sake of answering your question as you wrote it, though, let’s assume that you really are “just friends” with nothing romantic between you. In other words, you want to dump all the most unpleasant parts of a relationship on him (talking about difficult emotions, baggage, stuff he doesn’t want to focus on) without “relationship-only” type stuff like physical/sexual intimacy, exclusivity, etc. To be honest, this doesn’t really hit me like he’s the one with the baggage. if it’s not happening right now at this moment, it doesn’t need to be dealt with… Yes, maybe bad things happened to him in his past that effect him.Her best move at that point would be to say, “OK, no relationship with you. but if this one thing changed, then it would be great and everything would be how I want it to be.” In the scenario of building a fantasy future, he’s not giving you false hope… and that means you have the complete power and control to prevent it from happening.Got it.” Like I always say, “When a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship… ” MORE: When A Guy Says He Doesn’t Want to Be in a Relationship Instead, most women fixate on the hope that if he just didn’t have the emotional wound, everything would somehow work out. I know it doesn’t always feel this way, but relationships really are simple. The people who ultimately end up in the happiest relationships are the ones that cut off the options that weren’t working to make room for the relationship that really did work in every way that was important to them. if you want to have a friendship with this guy, you have to stop feeding the ideas that you have a relationship with him.
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It wasn’t that she helped him get over his baggage – it was that he know she wouldn’t put up with that nonsense and, if he wanted to have her, he needed to drop it. This might sound disappointing, but it’s actually a huge relief – you get to know beyond any shadow of a doubt that he was never, ever going to commit to a relationship with you. When you really let this sink in, you will realize that you never have to worry about being swept away by your emotions again.