8 simple rules for dating my teenage dau
Keep in mind that faulty thinking is not something someone engages in intentionally.Rather, these are automatic thoughts, like “It’s not my fault that I broke the door.Not only that, but it keeps the fight going longer—the more you try to “win” and come out on top, the more your child fights back, so the louder you yell, and then he starts throwing things… Understand that in addition to prolonging the argument—and encouraging your child to keep it going—yelling back also means that you’re giving up your power.
If that’s the case for you, then think carefully about the battles along the way.
Accountability means that you set the rules and the limits, and you provide a consequence when your child decides to break the rules—period. Limits and rules were literally made to be crossed and broken because that’s how we, as humans, learn about consequences and accountability.
The goal is not to prevent your child from ever breaking the rules. Another way to look at accountability is this: If your child doesn’t follow the rules, someone will find out and there will be a “price” to pay, a “cost” for his poor choice in the form of the temporary loss of a privilege he enjoys. Get physical: This often goes hand in hand with trying to control your child.
Yet giving in to that temptation can be quite costly in ways you probably didn’t realize.
When you yell or scream back at your child, it simply challenges him and effectively “ups the ante.” To put it another way, it escalates the argument.